If you lack self-love, these 10 habits could be to blame (2024)

We’ve all caught ourselves scrolling through social media, envying the seemingly perfect lives of others.

We’ve all fallen into the comparison trap, where we measure our worth against the filtered highlight reels of others.

But what if I told you that some of your everyday habits might be secretly chipping away at your self-love? You might be surprised.

Self-love isn’t just about bubble baths and affirmations (although those are lovely too).

It’s a deep-rooted sense of worthiness, acceptance, and appreciation for who you are, flaws and all. It’s the foundation for a happy, fulfilling life.

But just like any other skill, self-love requires practice and awareness.

Here are 10 seemingly harmless habits that could be sabotaging your self-love:

1) Doomscrolling

We’ve all been there – endlessly scrolling through negative news or social media posts that trigger feelings of inadequacy or anxiety.

It’s like emotional junk food (if not more addictive!) and can leave you feeling drained and dissatisfied.

I’m not saying you need to toss your phone into the nearest body of water, but consider what type of content you’re ingesting and whether or not it makes you feel good about yourself.

Thereafter, don’t be afraid to cull any accounts that has a negative impact on your mood, and curate your feed with positive content that inspires and uplifts you.

2) “Yes, but…” syndrome

Ever find yourself constantly qualifying your accomplishments or downplaying your strengths?

“Well, I got the promotion…but it was probably just luck.”

“Yes, my boyfriend is great and loves me but I bet he’ll change his mind as soon as he figures out what I really am.”

“Life is going so well at the moment…but I don’t deserve any of these good things that are happening to me.”

If any of those sound familiar, this one’s for you!

This self-deprecating habit undermines your confidence and diminishes your achievements.

If you find yourself falling into this pattern of self-doubt, it’s time to break free and embrace your worth. The Vessel’s Self-Love Journey can be your guide.

Through a series of transformative lessons and exercises, you’ll learn to challenge negative self-talk, celebrate your accomplishments, and cultivate a deep sense of self-acceptance.

By embracing your strengths and owning your successes, you can build unshakeable confidence and create a life that truly reflects your worth.

Own your wins, celebrate your successes, and recognize your worth.

3) The “shouldacouldawoulda” trap

We often get caught in a web of things we think we should have accomplished by now.

“I should be thinner, smarter, more successful.”

Sound familiar?

These self-imposed expectations create unnecessary pressure and lead to feelings of inadequacy.

You’re essentially comparing yourself to a fictitious version of yourself, and beating yourself up for not being as perfect.

Sure, a little ambition is healthy, but instead of focusing on what you “should” be, embrace who you are and celebrate your unique journey.

4) People-pleasing (at your own expense)

I’ll admit, I used to be a chronic people-pleaser, bending over backwards to make everyone happy, even if it meant sacrificing my own needs.

I thought it made me kind and generous, and adamantly believed that others would like me more for the sacrifices I made for them…

But it actually left me feeling exhausted and resentful, plus no one really respects a push over.

So remind yourself that it’s okay to say “no” sometimes, especially to prioritize your own well-being.

5) Ignoring your intuition

That nagging feeling in your gut is trying to tell you something.

And yes, sometimes you can receive mixed signals from your gut (particularly if you’re looking anxiety mixed with Taco Bell).

Still, you’d do well to start trying to heed what your intuition wants to tell.

A new opportunity or a new person in your life might seem perfect on paper, but if something feels off, you might be right about that.

Trust your instincts; they’re (usually) right.

6) Neglecting your passions

Remember that hobby you used to love?

Or that creative project you always wanted to start?

When was the last time you did something purely for the joy of it?

Life is busy, and finding time to crochet or make sourdough can be difficult.

But even in the busiest of times, try to leave any guilt at pursuing your hobbies behind.

Because neglecting your passions can have far more brooding consequences. It can leave you feeling unfulfilled and disconnected from your true self.

So, take this as a sign to start making time for activities that bring you joy and ignite your soul.

7) Surrounding yourself with negativity

Your social circle has a significant impact on your self-esteem.

As the common saying goes, you’re also a product of the five people you spend the most time with. You better choose well!

If, however, you’re constantly surrounded by negative people who criticize or belittle you, it’s time to re-evaluate those relationships.

Your nearest and dearest should lift you up, not drag you down.

Have patience and empathy for those maybe struggling with their own self-love journeys, but try to surround yourself with positive, supportive people who uplift and inspire you.

8) Perfectionism

This one’s a killer!

Many of us believe that striving for excellence is admirable, and it is.

But perfectionism? It’s a trap.

Having too high a standard and placing ridiculous amounts of pressure on yourself essentially means you’re setting yourself up for failure.

You’re likely just setting unrealistic expectations and leaves you feeling like you’re never good enough.

Embrace your flaws, learn from your mistakes, and celebrate your journey.

9) Neglecting self-care

Burning the candle at both ends without taking time for yourself is a recipe for burnout. I used to think I was invincible, constantly pushing myself to do more, be more, and achieve more.

But eventually, I hit a wall. I was exhausted, irritable, and completely disconnected from myself.

It took a wake-up call for me to realize that self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential. I decided to invest in myself and embarked on the Self-Love Journey, guided by world-renowned shaman Rudá Iandé.

This transformative experience taught me the importance of prioritizing my well-being and gave me the tools to incorporate self-care into my daily life.

Through guided meditations, journaling prompts, and practical exercises, I learned to listen to my body’s signals, set healthy boundaries, and make time for activities that truly nourished my soul.

As a result, I not only avoided burnout but also experienced a renewed sense of energy, joy, and overall well-being.

If you’re struggling to prioritize self-care or feel guilty about taking time for yourself, I encourage you to give the Self-Love Journey a try, too.

It’s a powerful reminder that taking care of yourself is not only okay, but it’s also essential for living a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life.

10) Comparing yourself to others

Remember, social media is a highlight reel, not real life.

Everyone has their own struggles and insecurities – it’s just that few portray these accurately online.

So, instead of wasting energy (that could be better spent on your passions!) comparing yourself to others, focus on your own unique journey.

Use that time to celebrate your individual strengths and accomplishments, and your self-worth will thank you.